The Secret to Making Him/Her Fall in Love With You at First Sight

 

The most wonderful thing in this world is to have someone who really understands you– someone to share the beauty and emotion of life with you.

But in reality, it is difficult to find someone who understands you at a very deep level.

Many people are politely rejected, issued a good person card, and, (told by the way): “You are a good person, but we are not suitable, and you don’t know me well.”

They may look confused: “How can I not understand you? I know what you like and what you don’t like, I know what you like to eat, which great man you admire the most, what sports you like most, and what books you like to read…”

However, knowing is not understanding.

What is understanding in the true sense?

It’s deep, it’s psychological, and it’s the other side hidden behind the surface.

As the saying goes: “People who really understand you can see the sadness hidden behind your smiling expression with just one glance.”

People may say, sometimes helplessly, how deep thinking a person is required to understand what is in his heart. And they are worried they do not have this level of deep thinking or the ability to really connect with someone.

Also, in addition to actually understanding another person, we also need to let the other party feel that we understand them very well.

Therefore, if you want to walk into the other person’s heart, let him have a sense of intimacy and familiarity at first sight, and make that person feel that you understand them very well—you need to know cold reading.

This psychological technique is very suitable for the early stage of a relationship, that is, the period when the two have not yet established a romantic relationship. Appropriate use of cold reading can easily quickly establish trust between the two parties.

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Cold reading means that when you first come into contact with the other party, you can detect the other party’s personality and psychological characteristics from various details such as the other party’s clothing, hairstyle, and voice.

The principle it uses in psychology is the Banan effect, that is, if there is a description of personality traits, which is vague and tends to be positive, and can be used to describe everyone, then everyone will think that they are describing their own personality.

Simply put, you can make others feel that you know what he is thinking and that you understand them by saying some ambiguous words, which can arouse the other person’s strong interest in you.

Before establishing a romantic relationship, we can skillfully use “ambivalent psychology” and “attitude towards the other party” when dating or talking with the other party, so that the other party feels familiar with you at first sight, and thus falls in love with you.

Ambivalent psychology

Human psychology is inherently contradictory. Everyone has two sides, one side is the external appearance, and the other side is the hidden opposite side in the subconscious.

For example, when a very strong person encounters a strong setback, the more frustrated he feels, the weaker his willpower will be.

At this time, what people can see is his strong side, while his weak side is hidden deep in his heart.

And the more prominent this person’s strong side is, the stronger his opposite side will be, so as to maintain the overall balance.

Therefore, if we can tell the opposite side of the other person’s appearance, or appreciate the opposite side of the other party, we can speak to his heart and build up a sense of trust like an old friend.

For example, if you meet a guy at a sorority, you can say, “You look a little cold, but I don’t think that’s the case in your heart. You should be very warm to the more sincere friends around you.”

If the other party says: “Hehe, yes, I am really more enthusiastic about real friends.”

At this time, you should not be complacent and show off that you guessed right because that may have a counterproductive effect.

Imagine is someone could guess your inner thoughts. You will feel uncomfortable at first time, and at this time, a word or deed that I am very powerful will make the other party particularly disgusted.

Therefore, at this time, you must not reveal a proud expression, so as not to destroy the newly established sense of trust.

You can continue the conversation with him with a calm smile because at this time your relationship has drawn closer, and he has initial trust in you, and the next topic is the stage where his interest in you will sublimate exponentially.

Furthermore, you have to remember that when using this technique, you must use more vague words, such as maybe, like, I feel, I think, should, and so on.

Because words that are too absolute will be inaccurate and make the other party feel repelled.

Take the “he’s the only one” attitude

German philosopher Leibniz said: “There are no two identical leaves in the world.”

This is especially true for people. There cannot be two identical people in the world. Even twins have their differences.

Therefore, you must always have this “one and only” attitude toward the other party. Let them know they are unique. Then watch the sense of surprise brought by this attitude. It will be infectious.

With this kind of attitude, you can easily generate a surprise stream of consciousness. This stream of consciousness will naturally be revealed in your speech and behavior, and it will make the other party feel that you understand them. Only you think he is unique, unique in the world.

In addition, we also need to know that life is a live broadcast, there is no rehearsal, and we cannot do it all over again, so no matter what the situation is, we should cherish every moment.

When you understand this point, you will concentrate on listening to the other party when you are in contact with the other party, and you will understand the salient side of the other party in more detail, and accurately locate his opposite side. The perception index of hitting it off will be higher.

Of course, cold reading only provides a shortcut for you to build trust with the other party. In the end, it is your sincerity that will make you and the other party go on and develop a deeper connection with you.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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