The Non-Creepy Man’s Guide to Approaching a Woman

The fear of being labelled a creep prevents so many men from approaching an attractive woman.

As such, it prevents potential love stories from ever happening.

That’s why this guide is important.

It features 10 pointers to stop women from perceiving you as a creep. Follow them all and you’re more or less guaranteed to give her a positive experience.

1. Don’t Stare

Staring creeps women out because they have no idea why your eyes are fixated on them

Are you planning to attack them or ask them out? She has no way of knowing.

Staring is now considered a form of harassment in the UK. Even if it’s not in your country, you’re better off walking towards an attractive woman as soon as you know you want to meet her.

2. Approach From the Front

Startling a woman does not make for a great first impression.

Avoid this by approaching from her line of sight. This way, she can see you coming and she’s less likely to be spooked by you starting a conversation.

It’s way less creepy than tapping her on the back.

3. Smile

A smile is the global sign of friendliness.

When a woman sees a genuine smile on your face, she’s less likely to expect danger and more likely to warm to you.

On the other hand, if you try to chat up a woman with a stony face, it comes off as weirdly incongruent.

As a general rule, if your words don’t match your actions, it can be incongruent enough to creep people out.

4. Use a Statement of Empathy

A statement of empathy is any phrase which shows you understand that she might be feeling shocked or confused.

“Sorry to interrupt.”

“Hey, I know this is a bit out of nowhere but…”

“Oops, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

These statements show you have empathy and social intuition. She’s less likely to feel creeped out once she sees you have these qualities. Most dangerous people don’t have either of them.

5. Get to the Point

Some guys try to start smalltalk with women before they start flirting. This strategy can work well in bars and venues where it’s expected for men to approach women.

But it can creep women out in places where it’s less common to talk to strangers.

If you approach a woman in a shopping mall and start talking about the weather, she’ll spend the whole time wondering why you’re really talking to her. Until you reveal that, she’ll have her guard up.

It’s better to be honest about your intentions from the get-go. Tell a woman you want to meet her because she looks fantastic.

This level of authenticity shows confidence, and it helps her trust you enough to not consider you a creep.

6. Keep it Clean

Yes, it’s good to compliment a woman when you’re first approaching her, but keep it clean.

It’s not socially savvy to make sexual comments about a complete stranger. In fact, this can land you with a harassment charge in many countries too.

So, aim your compliments at non-sexual parts of her body.

7. Be Loud and Proud

It’s understandable that you wouldn’t want any bystanders to hear your pick-up attempt. Perhaps that would embarrass you if the approach didn’t go as planned.

Unfortunately, when you whisper and try to sneak your way into an approach, it comes across as if you’re trying to do something bad. It can quickly creep women out when it looks like you have something to hide.

You’re better off being loud and proud with your approach. This shows you’re confident in what you’re doing and you don’t care what anyone else thinks of it.

8. Be authentic

Remember the rule about incongruence mentioned earlier? If your words don’t match your actions, it can creep people out.

That’s why it’s better to be completely authentic about who you are.

If you’re shaking with fear, you’re better off admitting you’re nervous. If you feel like she’s not enjoying the conversation, tell her that and ask if she wants you to leave. That’s better than lying or trying to power through.

9. Don’t be pushy

Hopefully, the conversation lasts long enough for you to ask the woman on a date.

If she says no, don’t be that guy who won’t let her leave until she changes her mind. That type of persistence isn’t admirable.

Sure, there are occasions to persist, like when she says she’s ‘not sure’ with a cheeky glint in her eyes. That’s too nuanced to explain here.

But, in most cases, you won’t have to beg for her contact details if she likes you. So, don’t beg and don’t be pushy.

10. Don’t bombard her with messages

This final point assumes you swapped contact details with this woman. So, congratulations to you!

However, there’s still time to be considered a creep retrospectively.

That’ll happen if you bombard her with messages. You shouldn’t need to do that if you met in the real world and she liked you. Just use messaging to organize your next date. You can get to know each other better there.

If you’re the type of guy who struggles to attract or keep a woman’s attention, my book Big Dick Energy will help you. It features 12 powerful exercises to help you unleash your natural masculine energy and attract amazing beautiful women. You can learn more by clicking here or watching the video below.

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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