This story embarrasses me. But, I feel it needs to be told.
My smart phone is never more than a couple of feet away from me. Heck, to be honest, that’s even an exaggeration. My cell phone is either in my pocket or in my hand unless I am having to charge it from too much use, then it is a couple of feet away from me.
The smart phones of today are amazing. They provide so many functions that we used to go to so many places to do before we had them in our pocket.
The first is obvious communication.
Phone calls, text messages, emails, social media, and even my Medium account are all in one place. I am constantly checking on work, texting with friends, updating my social media and reading articles on Medium.
If I don’t respond to someone within an hour, chances are I’ve seen it but have chosen not to respond. I have never been so easy to get hold of.
My phone will tell me what the weather is going to be tomorrow morning, what the weather is right now or what it was yesterday. Of course, I used to get this information by looking out the window but thankfully, my smart phone makes that unnecessary.
I can see the results of the game that I fell asleep during the night before, or see the current scores of the game going on now because my daughter wanted to watch Bluey and she always wins the TV battle. I can even watch the game on my phone if I am really desperate.
I can instantly see where my favorite local band is playing this weekend, throw around some angry birds, buy groceries for pick-up, or schedule some new furniture for delivery without ever leaving my spot on the couch.
I can plan tonight’s meal complete with recipes and stories on how the recipe was handed down through the generations and always a favorite of the recipe provider’s children.
Smart phones are one of the most incredible and useful tools ever created.
They, are also, one of the worst things that has ever happen to me and my family.
“Dad, put your phone down and listen to me,” my daughter pled with me the other night.
What was she doing?
She wasn’t asking me to play with her, or listen to a story from school or answer a question about dinner.
She was doing homework.
She was reading a list of sight words that her teacher had asked us to go over.
When it was time for her to read the list, I put my cell phone down, asked Alexa to set a timer for one minute, and she started reading through as many of the words as she could.
Halfway through the list, I didn’t realize I had done it, but I picked up my phone and hit the Facebook icon.
That is when my daughter scolded me and told me to put my phone down and listen to her.
One minute. That is all the attention I needed to give her and I absolutely failed.
I felt horrible.
Later that night, she wanted someone to play with. She wanted me to go to her room and play with her and her stuff animals.
“You can bring your phone with you,” she said softly trying to coax me into going into her room.
“No,” I shook my head and gave her a smile, “My phone can stay here. Let’s go to your room and play.”
Children learn more from what you do than what you say. I have always tried to be the kind of person that I want my daughter to become.
When it comes to using my smart phone, I have to be better.
I need to pay attention to the task at hand and the people in front of me and leave the cell phone in the other room. In this case, I will need to be the kind of person my daughter is modeling for me.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
 White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
 Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
 The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
 What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
—
Photo credit: Arnel Hasanovic on Unsplash
The post Parenting without Electronics appeared first on The Good Men Project.