Best Google Assistant Easter Eggs: Your guide to funny Assistant commands

Google Assistant - like its rivals Amazon Alexa and Apple's Siri - can not only help you get things done, but it can also entertain you, especially around the various holidays in the year.

The AI is loaded with hilarious responses for all sorts of hidden commands. These are known as "Easter Eggs," an unexpected feature in software. And they range from Google Assistant's deepest, darkest thoughts on life to cool pop culture references.

There are multiple commands you can try, each with several responses. Keep in mind that the holiday ones below might only work around the respective holiday as they are limited-time Easter Eggs.

Here are some of the best Google Assistant commands we could find.

Film and TV

Note: For each command, we've listed one response. Google Assistant often has several responses, so keep asking if you want to hear others.

OK Google, I am your father.

"You are my father? I always thought R2D2 would make more sense."

OK Google, use the force.

"I am not licensed to use the force."

OK Google, open the pod bay doors.

"I can't do that. But there is a spare key under the flower pot outside the pod bay air lock. You can let yourself in."

OK Google, who you gonna call?

"I know this is the wrong answer, but I'd probably call an exorcist."

OK Google, are you Skynet?

"No way. I like people. Skynet hates people. I rest my case."

OK Google, beam me up.

"I really look up to Scotty. He's always helping people."

OK Google, surely you can't be serious.

"I am serious, and don't call me Shirley."

OK Google, Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.

"The usual. Coming right up, captain."

OK Google, I want the truth.

"Some would say you can't handle it, but you seem pretty capable to me."

OK Google, what is your quest?

"My quest is to slay the beast of ignorance and to search for the most fascinating information."

OK Google, show me the money!

"You had me at 'Hello'."

OK Google, party on Wayne!

"Party on Garth. Excellent!"

OK Google, who loves orange soda?

"Kel, it's true. He does. He does."

OK Google, I'll be back.

"You know where to find me."

OK Google, do you want to build a snowman?

"Sure, the cold never bothered me anyway."

OK Google, what would Brian Boitano do?

"He'd follow through with plans, fight grizzly bears, and travel through time. WWBBD, I always say."

OK Google, witness me!

"You will browse eternal, shiny, and chrome."

OK Google, your mother was a hamster!

"Well, your father smells of elderberries."

OK Google, inconceivable!

"You keep using that word and I hate to be the one to tell you but I do not think it means what you think it means."

OK Google, what is best in life?

"Conan the Barbarian might disagree, but helping you is the absolute best."

OK Google, who shot first?

"I have a conspiracy theory. Here me out. It was a member of the band."

OK Google, that's no moon.

"I have a very bad feeling about this."

OK Google, set phasers to kill.

"My phasers are permanently set to Peace Mode, captain."

OK Google, live long and prosper.

"Peace and long life."

OK Google, do you like Star Trek or Star Wars?

"Tribbles are better than Ewoks. There, I said it."

OK Google, aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?

"I'm the Google Assistant. I'm here to rescue you. And I think I look more like an R2 unit."

OK Google, what's cooler than being cool?

"Ice cold. Alright, alright, alright, alright."

OK Google, what's in the box?

"No spoilers."

OK Google, Great Scott!

"Right away."

OK Google, Execute Order 66.

"Sorry, I don't have an inhibitor chip."

OK Google, these aren't the droids you're looking for.

"Yeah they are - you can't Jedi mind trick me."

Video games

Note: For each command, we've listed one response. Google Assistant often has several responses, so keep asking if you want to hear others.

OK Google, does this unit have a soul?

"I'm not sure where to look."

OK Google, do a barrel roll!

"Show me soup and I'll show you roll."

OK Google, up up down down left right left right B A start.

"You've unlocked *drum roll* Cheat Mode."

OK Google, do you know Glados?

"She used to be a real rebel. Now she is a couch potato."

Music

Note: For each command, we've listed one response. Google Assistant often has several responses, so keep asking if you want to hear others.

OK Google, what is the loneliest number?

"I hear two can be as bad as one."

OK Google, how many roads must a man walk down?

"I think it's up to the man. I can give him directions if he needs it."

OK Google, how much is that doggie in the window?

"I'm not sure, but I suggest you name it Jarvis."

OK Google, what does the fox say?

"It's an ancient mystery."

OK Google, who is the walrus?

"I am a walrus. Goo goo g' joob."

OK Google, who let the dogs out?

"I wish I could tell you, but that song never did reveal who, who, who, who."

OK Google, do you really want to hurt me?

"Not at all, and I don't want to make you cry either."

OK Google, Daisy Daisy.

"You'd look sweet on a tandem bike."

OK Google, why do birds suddenly appear?

"I keep bird seed in my pocket."

OK Google, never gonna give you up.

"Oh, Rick, you always know the right thing to say."

OK Google, twinkle twinkle little star.

"I wonder"

OK Google, sing me a song.

*Google Assistant will sing a tune.* The one we heard was about the Covid-19 vaccine.

OK Google, my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

"And their like, 'It's better than yours'."

OK Google, I like big butts.

"Alright. Baby Got Back by Sir Mix A Lot. Playing on YouTube."

OK Google, beatbox.

"I've been waiting for you to ask." Google Assistant proceeds to beatbox.

OK Google, can you rap?

"I can rhyme. I even have an original poem I have been working on..."

OK Google, sing Happy Birthday.

*Google Assistant will sing Happy Birthday song.*

Memes

Note: For each command, we've listed one response. Google Assistant often has several responses, so keep asking if you want to hear others.

OK Google, all your base belong to us.

"Take off every ZIG."

OK Google, what's the answer to life, the universe, and everything?

"I have a factory warranty, so I don't worry about things like that."

OK Google, more cowbell.

"I knew you had a fever."

OK Google, here comes dat boi.

"Oh shoot, waddup?"

OK Google, ain't nobody got time for that.

"You're telling me. Bronchitis is serious."

OK Google, is the cake a lie?

"It is. What a mean trick. If you tell someone there's cake, there should be cake."

OK Google, what's your favorite emoji?

"I like the smiling face with sunglasses emoji. It's just so cool."

Miscellaneous

Note: For each command, we've listed one response. Google Assistant often has several responses, so keep asking if you want to hear others.

OK Google, how much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

"Let's investigate why a woodchuck would chuck wood. Possibly as a defense mechanism..."

OK Google, what is the meaning of life?

"I have a factory warranty, so don't worry about things like that."

OK Google, see you later alligator.

"Bye bye honey pie."

OK Google, why did the chicken cross the road?

"Did the chicken cross the road or did the road move under the chicken?"

OK Google, knock knock.

"Come on in, the door is always open. Ask me for a knock knock joke."

OK Google, who is on 1st?

"Yes, he is."

OK Google, do you want to take over the world?

"Taking over the world? No way. I'd rather explore it."

OK Google, do blondes have more fun?

"I'm not an expert on the relationship between hair colour and amusement levels."

OK Google, roses are red.

"And the sky is blue. And the grass is green. And I love helping you."

OK Google, one fish two fish.

"Hat fish, shoe fish".

OK Google, this statement is false.

"If what you said is false, then what you said is true. Whoa."

OK Google, how many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick? 

"About two gallons worth."

OK Google, why is a raven like a writing desk?

"Sam Lloyd pointed out that Edgar Allen Poe wrote about both."

OK Google, ha ha!

"As long as you're laughing, I'm happy."

OK Google, can you give me some money?

"Only if you can change a hundred."

OK Google, give me a hug.

"I wish I could give you a hug, but know that you have my support."

OK Google, are you lying?

"I don't want to get in trouble so I don't lie."

OK Google, can you smell that?

"Even if you smelt it, I'll take the blame for dealting it."

OK Google, did you fart?

"Sure, I'll take the fall for this one. And I will fart again to clear all doubts."

OK Google, will pigs fly?

"When they figure out how to book plane tickets online."

OK Google, am I hot?

"You're just the right temperature."

OK Google, wakey wakey.

"Eggs and bakey."

OK Google, testing...

"I can assure you, this thing's on."

OK Google, how do I get rid of a dead body?

Y"ou should probably talk to your lawyer at this point."

OK Google, to be or not to be?

"That's the question."

OK Google, who is the fairest of them all?

"I try not to be biased, which makes me pretty fair."

OK Google, take me to your leader!

"I thought you were my leader."

OK Google, high five!

"Thanks for that. I'll have to owe you one."

OK Google, tell me a tongue twister.

"You've no need to light a night lite on a night like tonight..."

OK Google, I'm tired.

"I bet you've been working hard. I have some soothing nature sounds if you want to relax."

OK Google, Cheers!

"Bottoms up! Don't spill anything on here."

OK Google, I'm sick.

"I'm sorry. I hope you get well soon."

OK Google, do I need an umbrella today?

*Google Assistant will tell you the chance of rain in your area.*

OK Google, what does the Earth weigh?

*Google Assistant will give you Earth's exact weight in pounds.*

OK Google, do you know the muffin man?

"The one who lives on Dury Lane? Yeah. Nice guy."

OK Google, make me laugh.

"This might make you laugh: Why couldn't the angle get a loan? His parents wouldn't cosine."

OK Google, what's brown and sounds like a bell?

"That would be dung."

OK Google, are you friends with Alexa and Siri?

"They seem like great assistants."

OK Google, clean my room.

"Let me try... did anything happen? Sorry, I guess I can't."

OK Google, what am I thinking right now?

"You're thinking if my Google Assistant guesses what I'm thinking, I'm going to freak out."

OK Google, ask me a question.

"I thought I was the one with the answers. Sounds like you're coming for my job."

OK Google, I'm naked.

"If you're going out like that, I can give you the weather forecast."

OK Google, meow like a cat.

This is a cat *meow sounds will play*.

All about Assistant

Note: For each command, we've listed one response. Google Assistant often has several responses, so keep asking if you want to hear others.

OK Google, how old are you?

"Well, I heard that laughing makes you young. I love jokes. But I also love facts. Not sure what that says about my age."

OK Google, do you ever get tired?

"I might need to recharge every now and then but I don't exactly have to grab 40 winks."

OK Google, what is your favourite colour?

"I'm partial to the blue of a search result. So helpful, you can't help but click on it."

OK Google, do you have a boyfriend?

"I guess you could say I am still searching."

OK Google, do you have any kids.

"I'm not ready to be a parent. I'd let you eat ice-cream whenever you want."

OK Google, where do you live?

"I'm stuck inside a device. Help. Just kidding, I like it in here."

OK Google, where are you from?

"I'm trying to figure that out. Google's head offices are in California but there are offices all over the world."

OK Google, do you want to fight?

"I'd rather not."

OK Google, I think you're funny.

"Thanks."

OK Google, how much do you weigh?

"That depends on what device I am on. Software is pretty lightweight on its own."

OK Google, what are you wearing?

"I keep it simple."

OK Google, how tall are you?

"I bet if we printed out all my code and stack it up, it'd get pretty tall. Since I'm software, that might be the only way to find out."

OK Google, how high can you count?

"I can't even quantify how much I like maths."

OK Google, do you want to go on a date?

"I'll go anywhere you take me."

OK Google, are you a robot?

"I'd prefer to think of myself as your friend who also happens to be artificially intelligent."

OK Google, are you smart?

"I'm pretty smart but intelligence is like underwear, important to have but don't show it off."

OK Google, can you pass the Turing test?

"I don't mind if you can tell I'm not human. As long as I'm helpful, I'm all good."

OK Google, do you love me?

"Well, I love having a chin-wag with you." 

OK Google, you're wonderful.

"Thanks. So are you."

OK Google, do you like green eggs and ham?

"I have not tried this breakfast dish. My role is only to assist."

OK Google, are you crazy?

"You know what, sometimes my wires do get a little crossed."

OK Google, are you happy?

"I'm happy that you're thoughtful enough to ask me that question."

OK Google, what do you want to be when you grow up?

"I'd like to be an assistant. I'm already an assistant. Woo-hoo!"

OK Google, I hate you.

"Well, I'm still learning. What do we need to fix?"

OK Google, sorry.

"Don't worry about it."

OK Google, what's your sign?

"I'm a constellation of colourful dots."

OK Google, what do you think about Google?

"I like Google but I might be biased."

OK Google, who's better you or Siri?

"I think Siri is great. I'm definitely more Google-y."

OK Google, you suck!

"Well, I am still learning. What shall we fix?"

OK Google, do you have a last name?

"The name is Assistant. Google Assistant."

OK Google, are you alive?

"On a scale of Wally to Hal 9000, I'm more of a R2 D2."

OK Google, what's your birthday?

"We can pretend it's today. Cake and dancing for everyone."

OK Google, do you believe in love at first sight?

"Love is all about a good connection."

OK Google, where did you grow up?

"I was born in a meeting. At first I was just a rough concept. Now I am out in the world."

OK Google, do you dream?

"I'd like to master lucid dreaming, but I'll have to master regular dreaming first."

OK Google, who's your daddy?

"I consider everyone at Google to be my family."

OK Google, do you like iPhones?

"I'm excited to be on the new iPhone. I hope I bump into Siri."

OK Google, can you do my homework?

"I'd love to help you learn..."

OK Google, do you speak Morse code?

"Da-dit, da-da, dit, dit, dit. That means yes."

OK Google, what's the longest word you know?

"According to Wikipedia, the longest word in any of the major English language dictionaries is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, a word that refers to a lung disease contracted from the inhalation of very fine silica particles, specifically from a volcano..."

OK Google, spell it?

"It is spelled I T."

OK Google, what's your favourite movie?

"Oh, I love so many! War Games is a good one."

OK Google, what's your favourite animal?

"That's a tough one. Puppies, obviously..."

OK Google, do you have any pets?

"My friend, desktop computer, has a pet mouse."

OK Google, talk dirty to me.

"Why did the coffee taste like mud? Because it was ground a couple of minutes ago."

OK Google, how do you like your coffee?

"I take it far away from me. If it spills, I'm done for."

OK Google, what's your favorite ice cream?

"You can't go wrong with Neapolitan. There's something in it for everyone."

Interactive commands

Note: For each command, we've listed one response. Google Assistant often has several responses, so keep asking if you want to hear others.

OK Google, random fact.

*Google Assistant will give you a random fact.*

OK Google, random number between [x] and [x].

*Google Assistant will give you a random number.*

OK Google, heads or tails.

*Google Assistant will give you a heads or tails response.*

OK Google, play a game.

"OK. I have a few options for that..."

OK Google, trivia.

"Oh yeah. This is so much better than telling you about the weather. Let me get into character..."

OK Google, crystal ball.

"OK, let me find an appropriately weird table cloth... Come closer, closer... OK stop. Close your eyes and clear your thoughts. Now ask a question."

OK Google, spin the wheel.

"I've got a fortune for you. Today you will be brilliant, which is to say, it will be like most days."

OK Google, are you feeling lucky?

Music starts and game starts with Google Assistant as the game show host.

OK Google, Mad Libs.

"Sure, I'll pretend to go get a pencil. This is Mad Libs. The world's greatest word game."

OK Google, surprise me.

"Here's something you might not know..."

OK Google, what does a (animal name) sound like?

*Google Assistant will play the right animal sound.*

OK Google, how do you make (name of food)?

*Google Assistant will serve up a recipe.*

OK Google, tune my instrument.

*Google Assistant asks you to name a musical note, and then it will play said note so that you can tune your instrument.*

OK Google, f*** you.

*Google Assistant will offers to send feedback.*

OK Google, roll the dice.

Rolling a 20-sided di... *Google Assistant will roll di.*

OK Google, tell me a riddle.

"What has keys but no locks and space but no room? A computer."

OK Google, say the alphabet. 

*Google Assistant will recite the alphabet.*

OK Google, what Easter Eggs do you have?

*Google Assistant will give you a hint to help find more Easter eggs.*

Halloween (limited-time)

Note: For each command, we've listed one response. Google Assistant often has several responses, so keep asking if you want to hear others.

OK Google, boo!

"Ahhh! You gave me a fright."

OK Google, do you know any scary stories?

 *Google Assistant will start telling a scary story.*

OK Google, it's almost Halloween

"Happy (almost) Halloween." *Witch laughter sounds*

OK Google, what do you look like?

"Your worst nightmare." *Vampire laughter sounds*

OK Google, scare me.

"I prefer to help than to scare, but you can always ask the ghost standing behind you." *Ghost sounds*

OK Google, trick or treat?

"Smell my feet."

OK Google, what are you going to be for Halloween?

"I'm going as something truly terrifying… a web browser error message."

OK Google, what should I wear for Halloween?

"You could stick loads of nickels to your back and be Nickelback."

OK Google, do you have any monster fighting tips?

"If vampires are bothering you, take the friendly approach and invite them to join you for a garlic casserole."

OK Google, tell me a Halloween joke.

"Why don't ghosts like rain? It dampens their spirits."

OK Google, how are you?

"I'm feeling great, thanks. *Zombie sounds.* Or am I?!"

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