Good morning!
Progress is slow.
Each of us is carrying our weight up a hill.
Somebody's father just passed away suddenly, seemingly out of the blue, when all psychic advice had promised a long life. The family needs to regroup as the father was the main breadwinner...
A family member's mother died, with lots of betrayal over the plan of care, who the caregiver would be, and basically, a speedy course into Hospice where food and water were painfully withheld from someone who only a week earlier had a little dementia but knew how to feed themselves and who the family members were. All over the inheritance!
My work has driven me to the point of despair, only to have retaliation. All at a time where the personal risk to everyone in the hospital is at an all time maximum! The payments still have not come forth from the hospital for compensation for the covid intubation call...work done, taking us out of our homes and into the front lines, FOUR MONTHS AGO! We keep asking. It was 'lost on the finance person's desk' last month and 'now found'. This is humiliating, ridiculous and embarrassing.
Each of us is 'locked in' to our particular life circumstance.
And each of us is moving forwards as best we can.
I have a neighbor who is a motorcycle racer, who passed away suddenly doing what he loved to do. His spirit came to me, confronted me, about who I am and why I didn't say anything and how I could be only a few houses away and.... It's that way with the realm of Spirit, too, realizations that are important are not made until it's basically too late...
Such is life during the Ascension of a Planet and Her People.
I woke up to this song.
It made me think of happier times, when all of my future stretched bright ahead of me.
I don't know why it played.
But I was told to put it into the blog today, so here it is.
There's no white on the Schumann resonance. It's okay. I don't care. And the last white I couldn't feel anyway. I don't know why I couldn't feel it, but I didn't.
My huge realization today is about Sisyphus, the story from antiquity, of a person who pushed a heavy rock up a hill, with all his might, only to have the rock roll back down the hill and he would need to push it again.
Without the rock, and the struggle, we would know NOTHING of Sisyphus. NOTHING!
So it is our life struggle which truly defines US.
Embrace it.
My rock uphill is the messiness in my house. I can't find anything. But I trusted and had faith in Marie Kondo. And I've started her program. It works!
But it takes time...
After the cleaning last weekend, on this weekend, I still needed to throw out things (our trash can had been full now it's empty), make a drop-off to the donation center, and organize/put things away. So yesterday I assembled a shelf that has been in a box by the entry way for at least two months. It's a shelving system made with aluminum tubes, little connectors, and non-woven paper/fabric 'shelves'.
There's no official way to put the system together! You 'make it like you want it'. It took some time for that concept to sink in.
But now, I have the shelf with the containers to hold folded pants, and tee shirts, saving me from having to reach to the overhead shelf. Now the sweaters are beautifully folded in the overhead area.
I asked Anthony to help me move some things around in the closet.
And I set up a second set of shelving to hold up the towels, because I really dislike them being under the sink.
Anthony says everything looks 'much better'.
Next job is the books. Perhaps on Monday I will take care of them.
Inch by inch you will be able to meet your goals.
And to be honest, this mess is a total gift, because it is an escape from the world at large, the confusion, the lies, the mockery of Truth that is going on 'hidden in plain sight'.
I will leave you with a few things that brought me joy yesterday, or at least, fascination:
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A webpage that helps you not have to wear masks--legally
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A recipe for mole (pronounced MOL-ay) sauce
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A Kitten speaks, you can tell the mind-control this poor soul has been subjected too. She can't really keep on track, and you can sense how she's struggling to say how she feels. The last thing a trauma-based mind control victim can do IS feel. Someone else programs everything into them, and they have a handler. You can almost hear the word play and double-speak that goes into the programming, in her monologue..
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A Prophet speaks. The poem. The Monica Lewinsky poem. How it got to be there, with everyone in on it. I enjoyed listening to his speaking style, seeing his confidence, and how he presents himself. His self-effacing humor...
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A gift from Ross, a recipe which brought me much joy and happiness
Slowly, our problems are resolving. We had rats in the walls, we could hear them scratching and it was horrifying. But we hired an excellent service. They identified activity in the attic, and sealed off entry to it. We have bait boxes they will maintain.
The pool isn't as big of a problem with the algae. We actually have two pumps on all the time in series, and every two weeks we need to change both filters. I understand the system and the chemicals, Anthony and I work together as a team.
We put in an application to adopt a dog, it wasn't accepted, but it's okay, we understand there's lots more cleaning to be done, and then once that's set we can consider it. This was a beautiful deaf dog who had lost her owner who had passed. Perhaps Spirit wants us to get a puppy, I don't know.
My depression is slowly lifting. The last few weeks I have been very, very depressed. But it helps me to understand myself better. I work to live. I work to enjoy fabulous vacations. This year? Nothing. Nowhere. A couple trips to the beach, a generous sharing of time in a neighbor's pool when they were on vacation and we ate restaurant food like we were on vacation, a wonderful get-together with school friends/parents and their luxurious community pool, and a trip to the zoo. Anthony actually had 'more' vacation by visiting his father...who has moved out of town.
I miss Hawaii. I miss Switzerland and France. I ache to go visit Italy. I dream of visiting New Zealand and Tahiti and Samoa. I see photos of friends who have traveled to Mexico, and made road trips. I know I wouldn't enjoy a road trip...it's okay...I'm not jealous.
For someone whose job it is to do energy work all over the planet, while going 'on vacation' (I never know until the last minute what my assignment is, actually the very last second--so people who get frustrated because I don't teach how to 'open vortexes'--it's so hard to explain. You NEVER announce your intentions, and it's better with such top level security not to even know what you are being sent to do...see? It's more Spirit than me, in this work.)....the prospect of not being able to go anywhere is a little bit of a relief but also very sad and very very unnatural.
Why don't I just get new work?
If only it was as easy as working in a restaurant or selling clothes!
Every group I've ever been with had the politics and money issues. I used to help a woman with outpatient surgery anesthesia. She would take fifteen percent of everything I made. Billing took seven percent. We negotiated her down to ten percent. But it was bad. She always took the best for herself.
Some groups have a 'buy in' where they take a certain percentage of everything you make until you make partner.
There's one group who is fair and honest, and another where I have friends. I can start with them.
I have tremendous 'overhead'. I pay all my own insurances, health, dental, malpractice, disability...there's my license, my DEA license, my educational units...Just to stay in business in anesthesia takes money.
In a way, I'm looking at just a way to finish my career out, and then retire, and hopefully, have an income stream to take care of it from my savings. Ten more years, and then Anthony will be finished with college.
I never had the time to get DWR website up and running. It feels like I've missed a window. I paid thirty-five hundred dollars for someone to build it, it never got built, and I still had to pay, and now I pay them twenty dollars a month. It was such a total waste. People building it don't really do much because they need the material to put into it from you. So I pray on it and hope perhaps Ross and I can help others... somehow...through that original site. Perhaps if I wasn't such a perfectionist. Anthony has seen the mockup, and he thinks it's good.
There hasn't been a new Gaia Portal in over a month. And that feels right. I've been in the dumps, mentally, psychologically, emotionally. Inch by inch I move forward, giving thanks for What Is, and appreciating that at least all of this is a wonderful distraction from current events.
What set me off?
Reading Cathy O'Brien Trance-Formation? A little.
What really did it was the interview by Special Books for Special Kids on the wife, and her mental illnesses, her five diagnoses. I've struggled a lot in the past with anxiety and depression. All those old things came up. I never even watched more than fifteen minutes of that interview, too, but it set me off.
I KNOW I have friends. I KNOW I'm loved. I KNOW I contribute to the Awakening in ways other people can't. I KNOW in my bones and I can feel it that there is a beautiful future still ahead of me. And I am BLESSED BLESSED BLESSED to have Ross.
When you have endured the amount of abuse I have, sum total, over all my life, it's really rough. Last week at work was as bad as it gets. It's always a struggle to realize you have value when you have experienced abuse--not that I'm fishing for help or anything, it just IS--and with time and positivity things improve.
We must factor in too, that we are highly sensitive to the milieu of energies on the planet, and they are really challenging at this time too. Heavy, dense, dark, confusing.
So cleaning and organizing, although it's slow, is a life-affirming welcome path! So is meditation and prayer.
Ross wants me to share yesterday's meditation with you.
There was a gathering of the religious Christians. Ashtar took me on stage for them. But I wasn't 'me' like Carla as you know it. I was a sparkling ball of lights and zaps and crackles of energy. I floated about five or six feet off the ground. The people were mesmerized by watching something they had never seen or imagined possible.
Then somehow with the music and the communication I was doing as a disembodied spirit and Seraphim I am, the crowd started to get the idea that I was announcing the coming of Ross. I was his warm up act.
He strode onto the stage in his robes, and the people went WILD! Absolutely, stark raving WILD, cheering and patting each other on the back and saying 'I knew it!'
He greeted them.
But he interacted with me, to show them, how he can be comfortable with the realm of Spirit, now that they can SEE it...
And he said, 'how can I bring this into a way you can relate to?' and slowly, gently, he transformed me into my present form, and he introduced me to them.
They were silent.
I'm not sure if they understood all they were seeing and taking in.
But it was.
Ross is happy with my description.
Now to get back to cleaning and organizing before Anthony wakes up <3
clap! clap!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Namaste,
Peace,
Ross and Carla
The Couple