6 Signs He or She Is NOT on Board for a Relationship

 

Many of us feel the desire to be in a happy and healthy relationship. Though not all of us all of the time. There are situations where you’re more interested in having fun, or you’re in a career situation where you can’t devote the necessary time and energy. Of course, there’s also the third and most painful possibility; the attraction isn’t mutual. That one tends to hurt the most because it feels more personal. Sadly, not everyone is ‘into’ everyone else.

There are some obvious not-so-obvious signs that your feelings lack reciprocation. I’m talking about the signals you’re blind to whilst your head is floating in the clouds of limerence. The crystal becomes clear once a level head points them out and brings you back to earth.

If the feelings aren’t mutual, it’s not going to happen. Here are six signs I hope can save you from that anxiety-filled miserable land of confusion.

1.You rarely experience any physical contact

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A person’s touch can be incredibly arousing. Studies have shown that oxytocin, also known as “the love hormone,” can be released by merely touching someone. One approach to show your love is to touch your partner in a special way.

Even though it may sound strange, if they don’t extend their hands to touch you or feel your skin while talking about business or sports and even family, that’s a clue they don’t want to be in a relationship with you. A person in love longs to feel their partner all the time.

There also be no incidental touching. I’m talking about accidentally brushing up against your leg while sitting next to you or even pulling a hair off your sweater.

2. You don’t catch them indulging their eyes

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This may not matter to some people. However, it has been observed that when you love or are in a relationship with someone, you simply find yourself staring at them aimlessly. Possibly out of admiration. You can be sure a potential suiter isn’t trying to get you out of your suit if you never catch them glancing or getting caught RED-handed checking you out. Our eyes long to drink in what we crave and desire.

3. Eye contact is fleeting or once in a blue moon

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When you look someone in the eyes, it may indicate that you are attracted to them or have strong feelings for them. It has the capacity to elicit strong emotions. A study by Joan Kellerman and her research group found that important emotions are amplified by eye contact.

Avoiding eye contact is one indication that they do not want to be in a relationship with you. Despite the fact that some people can be overly shy on their first date or relationship to the point of avoiding eye contact, over time, they grow to crave eye contact along with all types of contact. If they don’t look you in the eye when you speak, that can be a subtle but revealing clue that your seed of love isn’t going to blossom.

4. You’re the initiator of communication

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There is a good possibility that they aren’t feeling a spark with you if you are the only one who uses the words “Hello” or “Hi” on your smartphone. If they were, they would use any opportunity to DM you or give you a call to say hello. Two-way communication is essential for relationship development. Communication problems are a symptom that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. This means that if contact is cut off from one side of the parties, any existing relationships are doomed to fail.

A second factor is that they don’t, from time to time, reach out to you, or they let the conversation die; they’re not thinking about you. Their mind is somewhere, but it’s not on you.

5. Sensitive topics are avoided like the plague

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They attempt to alter the subject of conversation or play around with it when you speak in an enticing way about the two of you. What do you adore about me, I might ask? While you may believe you have given a cue, it could all come crashing down if the compliment opportunity is completely sidestepped or the question turns into a joke. One of the telltale signals that someone doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you is when they avoid awkward conversations.

6. There are plans, but you’re not a part of them

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Not including you in their plans is one indicator that they don’t want a relationship with you. They never use the word “we” in a sentence. They frequently use the pronouns “Me,” “I,” and “Myself.” This implies that there will be no future for the two of you.

They could be totally selfish and only think of themself, but that’s not something you want either. If you’re not welcomed in, don’t try and push yourself in.

The faster you identify these key signs, the better it is for you. Pull the heart plug before it’s plugged into a fantasy. Sadly, fantasies are always broken by reality.

Love at first sight, is more attraction at first sight. Sometimes it’s accurate, and other times, your beer goggles or relationship goggles have you only viewing the fantasy.

However, most people, when it comes to looking for something longer term, do know within the course of 4 to 6 dates.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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