Death is no laughing matter, but it doesn’t have to be a somber occasion. While the passing of someone close is also going to be a sad and difficult time, there are some that find the humor in death. One of the funniest ways people do this is by having funny tombstone sayings engraved on their headstones.
While most tombstones feature the person’s name, length of life, and sometimes a small inscription about their family, there are those with a great sense of humor who leave a message that will have anyone walking past doing a double take and breaking out with laughter.
You might think it’s a bit offensive, but these headstone quotes are far from nasty or mean. They are a celebration of the dead person’s life and personality, proving that even in death you can find a small amount of joy. So read on and discover some of the most hilarious headstone inscriptions of all time.
29 Funny Tombstone Sayings To Give You a Giggle
1. Damn It’s Dark Down Here
This person had a fantastic sense of humor to get this inscription on their tombstone. A very funny saying that says a lot without saying much at all.
2. That’s All Folks
Mel Blanc’s name might not be recognizable, but you’ve no doubt heard his voice at some stage in your life. Blanc voiced over 1,000 animated characters, with his most famous being Porky Pig. Passing at 81, he had the immortal words of Porky Pig inscribed on his gravestone; “That’s all folks.”
3. I Will Not Be Right Back After This Message
Merv Griffin was once the host of the long-running quiz show Jeopardy! and also the man responsible for Wheel of Fortune. A popular television figure for decades, he had a smile-inducing message inscribed on his tombstone. Having been rumored to often joke about wanting the phrase, “I will not be right back after this message,” attributed to him as his final words, his family made his wish possible when he passed away in 2007, engraving it on his tombstone.
4. You’re Standing on my Boobs
This lady must have been a good laugh. While her headstone epitaph seems normal when looking straight at it, move closer and you can see an extra inscription near the base, warning you about where you are standing. Another hilarious headstone quote that shows death doesn’t have to be sad.
5. Gay Vietnam Vet
Hopefully this veteran didn’t use his tombstone to come out, otherwise he’ll have some very surprised friends and family at his funeral. This headstone inscription might not be laugh-out-loud funny, but you can still find the humor in it. The message; “When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one,” is kinda beautiful though.
6. Densit Death
This man decided to have a little fun about his profession by having a tooth-shaped grave marker with the headstone quote; “Here lies the body of dentist De Mille in the largest cavity he’ll ever fill.” Who said dentists don’t have a sense of humor?
7. I Told You I Was Sick
Obviously nobody listened to this person when they were on their deathbed. A simple gravestone inscription that gets the message across loud and clear.
8. Kay’s Fudge
Kay deserves a round of applause for sharing her secret fudge recipe with the world. Quite different from most headstone epitaphs, this tombstone shows that Kay was one funny lady who brought a lot of joy to those in her life.
9. Dead
This tombstone is less about the inscription and more about what it spells out; “Dead.” If the cemetery doesn’t give it away, then this tombstone certainly lets you know you are surrounded by dead people.
10. His Final Performance
The late, great Jack Lemmon had one of the most incredible movie careers, winning two Oscars and starring in some absolute classics, including Some Like It Hot, The Great Race, Mister Roberts, and Glengarry Glen Ross. A funny man right up until the end, Lemmon wanted to let everyone know he had one last role to play before his death with this funny headstone saying.
11. One Tough SOB
Samuel Whittemore was one person you didn’t want to mess with according to his tombstone. The 80-year-old took out three British soldiers before being beaten and left for dead. Somehow he survived the attack and went on to live for another 18 years.
12. I’m a Writer But Then Nobody Is Perfect
Billy Wilder had a very successful career in Hollywood. The writer and director’s career spanned five decades and gave us classics like Some Like It Hot, Double Indemnity, The Seven Year Itch, and The Apartment. He wrote over 80 screenplays and got nominated for 21 Academy Awards, winning five. He must have also been a funny guy if the saying on his tombstone is anything to go by.
13. Go Away
Another funny inscription from a Hollywood player, Joan Hackett just wants everyone to leave her alone and let her sleep. The actress is best known for starring in the Western, Will Penny, sadly passing away at age 49 from ovarian cancer.
14. Secret Code
It’s hard to know what the meaning of this tombstone is, as it includes the alphabet along with the numbers one through zero. There are also the words “yes” and “no” and “good” and “bye.”
15. Hidden Message
At first glance, this gravestone looks to have a loving inscription, but as you can see by the highlighted section on the right, it actually contains a secret message that reads; “Fuck you!” Very clever and funny work from John.
16. Let ‘er Rip
Comedy actor Leslie Neilson had a long, prosperous career spanning over 60 years. The Canadian funnyman starred in over 100 films and more than 150 television programs, with some of his most memorable roles coming in Airplane!, The Naked Gun trilogy, and Police Squad!
When he passed in 2010 at the ripe old age of 84, he wanted his tombstone to represent his humorous side, so had the inscription “Let ‘er rip” written on his marker in tribute to his favorite gag, the fart machine.
17. No Consultation
This is one tombstone we can all relate to. Nobody asks if we want to be brought into the world, and once we are here, there is no timeframe of how long we will get. A little rough if you ask us.
18. Going To Hell
Herman Harband sure had his hands full during the latter stages of his life. After giving his wife everything she wanted for 20 years, once his sight started to go, she paid him back by trying to murder him and steal his money. It’s like the plot of a Hollywood thriller. The good news is Harband got away from her and while he might have passed on, at least he won’t run into her in heaven as she is surely going to hell.
19. Cat Lady
This woman turned out to be the definition of a cat lady, with her tombstone even including a statue of a cat on the top of the gravestone.
20. Shit Happens
Short and sharp, this epitaph is a good summary of life and Edith “Tina” Barlow’s unfortunate death.
21. I Was Hoping for a Pyramid
As the classic Rolling Stones song goes, “You can’t always get what you want.”
22. Uncle Walter
As the poem written on Walter William Stauffen’s headstone says, he may have spent a lot of money during his time on earth and gone broke, but he sure did enjoy himself. And let’s face it, when it comes to life, it’s all about having fun and enjoying yourself right?
23. There Goes the Neighborhood
One of America’s great comedians, Rodney Dangerfield was known for his hilarious one-liners that dominated his stand-up sets, especially his famous, “I don’t get no respect,” zinger. A regular on the Johnny Carson Show, Dangerfield crossed over into the movies in the 80s, making his presence felt in classics Caddyshack, Easy Money, and Back To School.
Going in for heart surgery at age 82, Dangerfield never woke up from the procedure and passed away six weeks later due to complications. On the day of his death, the random joke of the day on his website was the classic; “I tell ya I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetery plot. The guy said, ‘There goes the neighborhood!'”
The uncanny coincidence gave his wife, Joan Dangerfield, an idea of what to put on his tombstone, with the words, “There goes the neighborhood,” inscribed on his headstone as his final epitaph.
24. Well This Sucks
We sympathize with Mitchell. Dying really does suck.
25. When Life Doesn’t Go According To Plan
Jerry L. Farrer might not have gone out like he wanted, shot by a jealous ex-husband, but hopefully he still had a pretty decent life with his wife.
26. L.O.L.
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While the L.O.L. is probably just the dead person’s initials, we like to think they had a life full of laughing out loud.
27. My Loss, But Your Gain
Joel Dermid had a good sense of humor, with his tombstone hinting that people will be happy he is no longer walking the Earth.
28. Poor Jonathan Blake
The tombstone of Jonathan Blake serves as a cautionary tale to anyone who drives. As the inscription reads; “Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.” Be sure you know your accelerator from your brake.
29. True Democrats Only
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This couple is political even in death. Unless you are a true Democrat, don’t spend too much time at their gravesite as they don’t have the time to waste listening to other people’s political views. You’ve been warned.
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