Remember the good old days, when you could barely keep your hands off each other? There was that spark and chemistry was up to the brim on both sides.
There was no dearth of desire on both sides and the only thing in shortage was the opportunities to be together.
Fast forward, you get married and become a parent and gradually your sex life changes. Suddenly, your
“Wife doesn’t want sex”
You try your best to look good and even hit gym every few days a week. You try and uplift your dressing style and also plan date nights with your wife. All of this to no avail.
Eventually, you are convinced that your wife won’t have sex and does not want you sexually.
Here are 12 reasons that will help you understand some possible explanations as to why your wife never wants to have sex with you:
No purpose in life
Some men lose their purpose in life as they get bogged down with work, family life and the unprecedented responsibilities that come with starting a family.
In other words, they change into a person who looks defeated and has lost sight of what he wanted once.
This leads to a change in feelings from your wife’s perspective as you are no longer the man you once were. To maintain the attraction of your wife, you have to be a man that she looks up to and respects, not a man that she secretly feels ashamed to be married to.
Power Shift
In some marriages, there are extreme power shifts once family life takes on. In some cases, all the power and control goes to the wife. In some cases, the husband becomes the power center and tries to dominate his wife and control what she does.
In either extreme case, it breeds undesirability from the opposite end.
The correct balance which will keep you attractive for your wife is to be a strong, leading man who takes charge, but who also inspires and encourages her to take charge of things that she enjoys.
You need to love her, respect her and cherish her, but also expect that she respects you in return.
Personal hygiene
Women avoid unpleasant conversations and duck away rather than confront and talk about it. SO if you find yourself complaining that “My wife does not want me sexually”, maybe you can do a self-hygiene check.
So remember to brush your teeth, shower regularly, and be more mindful of what you are wearing. All these small acts would make you desirable in general.
Body hate
Women get very self-conscious about how they look which doubles up after having kids when their bodies changes significantly. So, part of the reason your wife doesn’t want sex could be her inferiority complex about her body or she feels about it.
A woman’s libido is tied up in feeling like she is desired.
And if she feels that she is not a prize in her husband’s eyes, it all goes downhill after that. Instead, talk to her about her self image and reassure her about herself.
Hormonal changes
Hormone imbalance strongly affects women’s libido and any significant variation in these chemicals can make your wife disinterested in sex.
Research points to the role of estradiol and progesterone that affect sexual desire and behavior.
There are various lifestyle changes in diet and exercise that can usher the hormones in the right direction.
If however, you feel, that it’s not helping convince and support her to see a doctor for a professional opinion on treatments available.
Sex is overhyped
For some women, sex may feel “overhyped”, especially when they are not able to climax. This is contrary to men, who almost always climax and selfishly aim for a release at the earliest.
Such a pattern, can only make her feel that sex is just hypd and there is no real ecstasy involved.
Try and involve sessions where you only focus on her and pleasuring her. What also often works is that you only climax after your wife has.
This way she will be more connected with you as you pay special attention to her body and not think about your needs only.
Exhaustion
Another reason your wife doesn’t want sex can be plain exhaustion from different roles and tasks she has been doing around household and work.
Certain lifestyle changes that put some discipline around bedtime and screen time can help here.
Take as much of the responsibility for some of the housework and childcare as you reasonably can. The aim is to have her reserve enough energy to have sex and sleep better.
Worrying
Maybe your wife is the worrying kind so she is almost never interested in having sex with you. Women are often burdened by frivolous worries or something that does not need attention or thought all the time.
This can be something to do with kids or an impending renovation.
Speak with your wife and ask her if she needs help with something. Comfort her and assure her that you are in it with her. If she is stressed or depressed, rub her shoulders without her having to ask you to do it. Give her a foot or full body massage.
Her focus is on motherhood
Some women put a lot of pressure on themselves in trying to be the perfect mother. So naturally, all her energy and attention goes into performing set parenting tasks revolving around kids.
In all this hustle and trying to be the perfect mother, she loses herself as a wife.
Sit with her and express how you feel. Support her equally in parenting and being a good parent. Your biggest concern should be to form more intimacy which is a building block for more intimacy.
Being Insecure
Women love men who feel secure about themselves. Be it her social circle which may include other male members or about her work life, a woman will always desire a strong secure husband, one that trusts himself.
Co-sleeping with kids
Co-sleeping can silently put a halt on your physical intimacy. If your child is prone to nightmares or other conditions, then it’s a different story.
However, when it becomes a habit, it can steadily put a serious damper on physical intimacy.
Medical condition
Hypertensive women are 1.67 times more likely to have sexual dysfunction compared to normotensives.
Based on a study it has been found the presence of sexual dysfunction in 42.1% of hypertensive women and in 19.4% of normotensive women.
Adequate control of hypertension with medication not affecting sexual function can have a great impact on the quality of life of hypertensive patients.
There can be other cases of postpartum depression taking its toll on her libido. It’s worth consulting an expert to nail down the cause.
But, what do the stats say about declining sex?
Experts say that there is a general decline in sexual activities across American households. There are several factors driving this:
- Age : The 60-and-older demographic climbed from 18 percent of the population in 1996 to 26 percent in 2018,
- The proportion of people between 18 to 29 reporting no sex in the past year more than doubled between 2008 and 2018, to 23 percent.
- The portion of people reporting no sex has always hovered around 50 percent, and because that age group is growing relative to everyone else, it has the net effect of reducing the overall population’s likelihood of having sex.
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Previously Published on dadtribe.com
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The post 12 Reasons Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex appeared first on The Good Men Project.