A successful marriage requires work and commitment from both partners. As the saying goes, “love is blind,” and in the throes of passion and romance, it is easy to overlook some important aspects of a lasting relationship.
While the concept of “happily ever after” love may seem like a far-fetched fantasy, a happy long-term marriage is possible!
The secrets to a happy marriage involve ongoing work on communication, emotional connection, affection, generosity, playfulness, and so much more. You have to deliberate about he/she as your priority and treat your partner well from day to day. Though the process is not always easy, a healthy marriage can be very rewarding.
Here are 10 secrets to keep in mind to build a happy, healthy marriage:
1.Keep dating your spouse.
Do not let marriage signal the end of romance. Continue to pursue your partner’s heart and go on dates together. Never take them for granted or assume their kindness and affection are your due. Remember why you fell in love at first and keep putting in the effort to win their heart.
2.Keep a sense of fun and playfulness.
Do not get overly serious and bogged down in constant analysis or criticism of the relationship. Laughter and silliness have an important role in maintaining a strong bonding. Try new or playful activities together to boost closeness and joy. Do not forget to bring more humor and play into everyday interactions.
Photo by Sandy Millar on Unsplash
3.Fall in love over, and over again.
Everyone grows over time. While embracing each other’s changes, also put in the continuous work to reconnect emotionally and physically! If you stop caring for them or ignoring their love for you, they may give their heart to someone else who will. Always remember the passion you had for them when you were pursuing them and make that same effort to keep the spark alive.
4.See the beauty in each other.
It is easy to start focusing on the little annoyances of your spouse and lose sight of the qualities you originally fell for. With love and affection, you will see the beauty and wonder in them. With resentment and a critical eye, you will just notice more faults and flaws. Remind yourself of how lucky you are to have them in your life.
5.Express love and affection more often.
Whether through words, small acts of service, or physical intimacy, frequently expressing love in the ways your partner understands best is essential. If you are unsure what they find most meaningful, ask them and listen without judgment. Knowing they are loved and special to you meets a deep human need for connection and security. Keeping love alive and well takes dedication and creativity.
6.Manage your own emotions.
Your spouse is not responsible for always keeping you happy or avoiding angering you. Learn to regulate your own emotions and do not take out your stress and frustrations on them. A healthy relationship involves sharing burdens, but definitely not using each other as an emotional punching bag. Work on your own mindfulness and emotional control.
7.Do not dump your emotional baggage on them.
Again, your feelings are your responsibility to process in a healthy way. Do not lash out or place blame when you are struggling. Seek to understand your own triggers and find constructive ways of managing difficult emotions. Your partner is there to support you, but not there to be a victim of misplaced reactivity.
8.Accept them in vulnerable moments.
When your partner is sad, upset, or emotionally vulnerable, offer comfort and understanding, with no criticism or judgment. A caring embrace and listening ear go a long way in creating intimacy and closeness. Remind them you are there for them through struggles as well as joy. Giving him/her a hug, or even a cup of coffee could warm a broken heart.
9.Share your heart only with them.
When you committed to being there for them through all of life’s ups and downs, you also committed to keeping your heart loyal to them. Love yourself and enjoy life’s pleasures, but also keep a sacred space in your heart that belongs only to your partner. No share with friends or family, but let only your partner hold the key to your heart!
10.Accept them as they are.
You committed to loving them, not changing them. If they do want to change something about themselves, love them through the process of change as well. Your role is to offer unconditional support, not try to mold them into your perfect image of a partner!
Creating lifelong love requires generosity, empathy, tenderness, and more. Marriage means choosing to see the beauty in your partner and the relationship, even when times are trying, and working on yourself as an individual and as part of a couple. There may not be a set formula for relationship bliss, but by committing to apply the secrets of appreciating, honoring, and cherishing your partner each day, you open the door to a deepening love that can stand the test of time.
While effort is required, the rewards of a happy marriage built on care, trust, and intimacy can be infinitely fulfilling. With open hearts and dedication, love’s true potential awaits. For those willing to put in the effort, a deeper understanding and stronger bond than ever before may await!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Joshua Chun on Unsplash
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